A Little Slice of the American Dream

"A little slice of the American Dream …" That’s what my father told me we purchased when Wendy and I moved into our 1,500 sq ft. split entry house a couple of years ago. Although both of us feel extremely blessed to have a home, the combination of falling trees, rising water prices, and a terminally ill lawn have made our slice of the American Dream less and less savory with every spoonful.

As Wendy previously mentioned, we returned home from a long vacation to have our one and only source of shade split right down the middle. Although the task of removing the tree proved to be quite daunting, I did the enjoy using the axe and chainsaw (although I was cutting through limbs with a meager diameter of no more than 4 inches). Soon enough all the branches were cut up and hauled away to the local green waster center. Only the stump endured …

With the plan to convert the concrete-enclosed area into a fire pit, it was only a matter of time until I attacked the unyielding stump. Having removed several trees at my parents house during my youth, I knew that a large, winding mass of roots sit below every tree. However, determined to fully satisfy at least one of my wife’s honey-dos during my lifetime, I grabbed my trusty axe and shovel and got to work …

5 hours of digging, 1 hour of axing, 2 gallons of water, and a few rotations of my favorite iPod playlist later, the resolute root ball was nearly fully exposed. Knowing that I had reached point where no tool would compensate for raw energy, I began to kick, push, pull, hit, slug, smash, smite, sock strike, swat, thwack, whack, and wop the relentless root ball. Despite my best efforts, the unwavering root ball was not coming out. Lucky for me, Wendy stepped outside just in time to witness my final herculean effort to uproot the unflinching root ball. With one loud yell and something that can be categorized only as an of out-of-body experience, I managed to yank the steadfast root ball away from its last few appendages and heaved it upon the patio to await its final departure to the Ogden City Transfer Station.

We now have a pleasant fire pit to complement our newly-branded friendship patio. So to all of you reading, please accept my invitation to stop by at any time to enjoy some delicious smores and warmhearted conversation.